[Acne] End of my rope.

Beauty Tips For Body Care
I don't want to make this super long but I really need to get this out and vent. I am Male, about to turn 25 years old and I losing my battle with acne. I've had acne since I was like 14, some times were worse than others but it was never like cover my entire face bad, usually just a few really bad spots but this last year has been the worst and the most troubling time for me with acne. I suddenly had a horrible breakout, worst I've ever had and I'm not sure if it was due to some routines I was trying at the time or what but it messed me up. Both sides of my face were terrible. Horrible cystic acne which is what I normally got but not like this and I have been trying to recover ever since and it's been nothing but a downward spiral.i obviously stopped ALL my treatment and haven't used anything since and it's gotten better from that terrible breakout but I'm still breaking out in a vicious cycle and I'm dealing with all the aftermarks and stuff left over. I have nobody to talk to about this, no friends, not my fiance, or family. I just cant do it. I broke down and finally consulted a dermatologist online (only way I can without waiting 7 months) and he diagnosed me with acne conglobata, basically severe cystic acne. He prescribed some stuff but there's no way I can afford it so I'm kinda screwed there. Honestly, I just feel defeated. I'm so insanely depressed from my skin and I dont know how much longer I can deal with it. Is it too much to ask for normal skin? Is it asking too much to just look like everybody else? To be able to look my fiance in the face and not want cry because i know that she notice how bad my skin is? To just be a normal dude and have normal non self conscious interactions with literally everyone. I seriously just dont know what to do anymore. I'm terrified of trying something new to help my skin and I'm also scared to leave it alone and it just keep doing its thing. Will I ever just be done with this battle? Haven't I fought it long enough? Paid my dues? I feel like it'll never end. Never be over and I dont know if i can handle that.
Girls Blog 2015
Submitted by War0118