Beauty Tips For Body Care
So this is really just a personal rant of mine, but I need to write this out somewhere and I feel like this is one of the few places where I won’t be met with solely confusion and dismissal.I’ve had bad skin for around 6 years, starting on my forehead and slowly creeping down my face. I’ve been on all sorts of things, even accutane. It was such a huge deal going on that but my experience was honestly fine and I had beautifully clear skin for a year. I remember feeling so relieved and thankful that my skin was finally normal. Then it went to shit.For the past year I’ve been dealing with a resurgence of acne. It’s been a slow build but oh boy, has it escalated recently. I fought against panicking for a semester, when my acne first started popping up on my temples, and then, shortly before going abroad, saw a dermatologist because I was dismayed that I was about to embark on a great adventure with shitty skin that I knew would consume me. Because I was about to leave and because my skin wasn’t too horrible yet, my dermatologist prescribed me tretinoin and that was that, i went abroad.Well, my skin got worse, tretinoin didn’t help, and I was stuck in a foreign country with no real health care options, so I had to just...put on makeup and get on with it. It was rough, and I cried many times. Then I flew to visit my aunt & uncle in Europe and my skin got EVEN worse, to the point that my uncle offered to pay for my dermatologist visit. I felt awkward but my skin had erupted in the heat and sun, so I decided to go.Well, in short, the dermatologist told me that I “definitely have hormonal acne that would only respond to accutane and birth control”. I knew this was coming, but it was just devastating to hear.Firstly, accutane is no joke and I’d have to take it during school this time, which is stressful and also means I get to have that IB around fellow students. Secondly, she also basically told me that my acne is likely going to be with me for a very long time since it is hormonal. So that’s nice. She also couldn’t prescribe it to me since I’ll be back in the US soon, so I get to wait until mid-September, anxiously hoping that I don’t scar in the meantime.I freaked out. I started sobbing in the waiting room simply because I couldn’t bare people looking at my skin and evaluating my biggest insecurity, and then hearing that a second course of the harshest acne medication may not even work long term. I can’t face anyone without makeup already, but the only thing that helps is for me to pretend that it is a phase. That was dashed. I also get to just sit around and wait now, obsessively staring into mirrors, for a solid month and a half.My aunt thought my crying was unreasonable and told me I was acting like a child. I’m 22. I was then further dragged to go test out some new glasses, all while looking like I had just sobbed because, well, I had. I love looking like a psychotic mess in public! Then I got to sit in between my mother and aunt during an hour long ride, failing to breathe properly because my crying caused me to start hyperventilating slightly. Who needs personal space or privacy? All in front of my uncle, who I don’t know all too well but who is very sweet and kind. Probably thinks I’m a lunatic.Now I’m just embarrassed at my behavior, but I also feel that my family just doesn’t understand the weight on my shoulders that acne causes. Sure I look unreasonable to someone with perfectly normal skin, but maybe I could ask for them to understand that I am fighting a mental battle with myself and that I sometimes break down out of disappointment or frustration. That my face literally hurts and itches sometimes, and bleeds.I don’t get certain other issues but I still listen when people say they need a moment with themselves. Those tears of mine were going to come out, and because my family didn’t understand, I was forced to go through the whole thing in front of them and in public.Now I guess I’ll go back on accutane, and I’m unsure about BC because hormones mystify me but what choice do I have? I’ve cried multiple times over the last few months and have ditched people because I felt too ugly. This isn’t a way to live.
Girls Blog 2015
Submitted by ladyofspades
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