[Personal] Skin cleared up, but I feel worse than ever because I see how differently people treat me now

Beauty Tips For Body Care
I've never had bad acne, but my keratosis pilaris was so severe that it covered my entire body and for a long, long time I hated myself. I looked like I was covered head to toe in bug bites. My scalp hurt all the time, my face was weird cause even my baby hairs were ingrown (so it looked like I had acne). I picked for years until Amlactin (holy oh my god, thank everything in the universe for that stuff). Even when my body started clearing up though, my face was still awful. My eyebrows were so ingrown that the skin turned grey and solidified. Picking felt like the only way to deal with the fact that my eyebrows were completely ingrown and I looked BAD. Like scabby. I'd try to cover it with makeup but I looked like a meth addict, probably. Eventually my eyebrows returned to normalish, I got the ingrown hairs out and the dead skin fell away, I look healthy now.I worked in restaurants and my coworkers wouldn't even respond to me when I said hello to them. I was treated with derision and sometimes open hostility. Looking back, I wasn't in the best mental state but I tried to treat people with respect and it hurt me that I didn't get the same treatment in response. Even people who had their own issues with their skin would treat me horribly. I once had a manager get mad at me because I had a hydrocolloid bandage on my face (I was new to them, I didn't realize how bad it would look), that particular instance was almost two years ago but I think about it almost every day.Now I'm considered conventionally attractive, I get matches on tinder if that says anything. I go on dates. I don't work in restaurants, I'm in an office environment (which has been great for my mental health), but I feel worse than ever. I have flashbacks constantly to what I felt like before, that all consuming shame. People treat me well, actively try to talk to me. I treat them with respect in return but it all feels hollow. All I can think is, "would you have reached out before?"It's nice to not want to die, but I don't know how to trust the way people treat me now. I don't know who's genuine. Sometimes I go visit my old restaurant just so I can stare down the people who treated me badly, which is satisfying in the moment but makes me feel worse in the long term. I also say high to those few who didn't treat me badly, but even they treat me better now and it hurts. Is everyone shallow?This is the only place I can think to post where someone might understand. Does anyone have any advice? How do I move past this?
Girls Blog 2015
Submitted by sorry_MrWest_is_gone