Beauty Tips For Body Care
Male, 27 years old. I had been affected by acne for so many years, I figure a good 10 years or longer, and I honestly felt I was cursed. It got to the point where I was so frustrated with how acne had affected my life over the years, I wanted to write an autobiography of sorts, or a memoir, initially as a way to vent out my frustration, and it was cathartic too (this post isn’t that memoir, I’m merely writing about this other thing I wrote). But since so much time had gone by to where literally every facet of my life I could think of acne somehow had sunk its claws into, I thought it would also be interesting to write a piece that shows just how much a bullshit affliction like acne can affect a person. It would just be for me to reflect on and read in the future so that I could remember how much it dominated my mind. It affected how I acted, how I ate, my relationships with friends and family, my education, work, and so on, but these are broad topics which doesn’t even begin to cover the full story. But the thing is, I refused to tell anyone about what I was going through because the very act of bringing it up and making my acne a talking point I found unbearable. Because then going forward whenever I would be seeing the people I told, I would be worried they would then be thinking, “I wonder if he’s feeling down right now because of his acne”. So then I would have to force myself to be happy around these people and make them think it’s not bothering me? I know it’s good to talk to people about difficulties you may be going through, and I’m sure that is helpful for other people, but I chose to not tell a single soul (except for a dermatologist, but I will get to that later). It was a personal battle I fought alone, and yes it was incredibly lonely. So for that reason, I felt that all my friends and family didn’t really know the real me. They only knew the me I was presenting to them. They didn’t know what I was going through. They just thought I was shy or antisocial, or maybe they even thought I didn’t like them, or I was just an asshole because I was always declining spending time with them or going to events. That’s why I wanted to write an extensive piece that reveals everything, so that in case I died they could read it and finally know what I was going through. Or if I was somehow free of my curse in the distant future, like if finally the day came where my body stopped producing acne (which I hoped for every single day), and I knew for sure it was gone forever, only then would I reveal my book and be able to go “look, this is what I was going through!” And in terms of them seeing what I was going through, I mean how it made me feel, how it controlled my life. Visually I’m sure over the years they would have noticed it on my face (and hopefully were kind enough not to bring it up, which for the most part they were), but there is absolutely no denying I let acne rule my life and let it have more power over me than it should have. I wish I could have just not cared about it and been able to live my life despite it, but the fact is it really fucking crippled me mentally. I just couldn’t escape from always being self-conscious about it. For anyone who has had big glaringly obvious red spots on your face I’m sure you can understand the feeling of not wanting to look at anyone or go anywhere. I was so terrified of talking to someone and noticing their eyes do a quick dart to look at one of my spots that I simply never made eye contact period. And that’s how I lived my life. The purpose of this post is to inform how I was freed from acne, but the reason I’ve been going on about this book I wrote is I guess I’m trying to demonstrate just how insane I had become from acne, to give a better idea about what exactly I was freed from. Surely if I felt compelled to pour my heart into this other thing I wrote, which has eclipsed 100,000 words, (and trust me I did not add unnecessary padding to make it longer, nor is it repetitive in the things I was writing about. And I never once had to think about what to add in order to make it longer, because it just kept flowing through me endlessly) that you would understand that acne affected me deeply. Not that I feel I need to defend my claim that I suffered greatly from acne, but maybe if there are other acne sufferers out there it will make you feel like you’re not alone. And I must also say I absolutely in no way intend to gatekeep acne suffering. I’m not saying I have suffered the most and that you don’t know suffering unless you write a fucking book about it. I beg you this is not a smug "I'm free from acne and you're not" kind of post. I guess I just wanted to say where I was coming from, how deep the hole I was in before I was finally able to climb out. So all that being said, what was the thing that finally cured my acne? What broke the so called “curse”? Well it wasn’t a dietary adjustment. It wasn’t eliminating stress from my life. It wasn’t finally reaching an age where my body decided enough was enough. It wasn’t anything interesting at all, because of all things it was as simple as going on Accutane. I know this could be eye rolling, or if you were hoping for some secret thing you could try that isn’t known already. You might be thinking, well why did you wait so long to try Accutane? Well there was several reasons. In my research, while yes there were posts of people who had success with Accutane, it seemed like there was always an equal amount of posts of people saying they regretted going on Accutane, or how it made their acne worse, or how it fucked their body up, or how afterwards their acne simply returned once the treatment was over. It made it impossible to know what the real deal is with this treatment. For starters, since you know my mind was crippled by the acne I was already dealing with, the notion of my acne getting even worse was absolutely a risk I refused to take, because I felt I had my hands full as it was dealing with the level of my acne’s severity. And also, even if it was only a temporary period of more severe acne before the treatment does its thing and it all clears up, I was worried during that "temporary" period it would push my depression to a dangerous level to where I would kill myself or something. With this being the major reasons, add on top the other worries that my body could get fucked up from the treatment, and you have your answer as to why it took me so long to try it. The first time I went to see a dermatologist, it was more because I was looking for answers. I wanted to know why as a male in his 20s why my body was still producing acne. I thought that if we could pinpoint the reason, that then knowing what the cause is would give a better idea as to how to prevent it. And I suppose I was also naive to believe surely there was other treatment options available instead of Accutane which could get rid of it my acne forever. So after trying to vent my thoughts and frustration out to the dermatologist, which was hard because I was nervous, he simply cut to the chase and said “well you should go on Accutane”. I was disappointed there was no discussion, that my answer for “why am I getting acne” went unanswered, and he defaulted to this treatment which I knew in the first place going in that I did not want it. His alternative suggestion was a 3 month antibiotic of some kind which he admitted the acne will probably return once it was done. I opted for the temporary relief, and boy was it amazing. For the first time in forever I was finally clear, and I got a taste for what life could be like. But then of course my acne returned after the 3 months, and things went straight back to how they were. Years went by. Eventually my frustration and desperation became great enough that I was willing to go see a dermatologist one more time to try and get my answers. But I didn’t want the same experience I got last time where I had the vibe that the doctor was just trying to get through his patients (and the reviews for hic clinic online certainly reflected how I felt about him too). So I literally searched what the top Dermatologists were that were even remotely near me, because I didn’t mind travelling far to see them, and it didn’t take long to find one. I looked through countless websites and reviews to make sure I had found the best, and one of the comments from someone that sold it for me was they said something along the lines of “I went to see my doctor to get a referral to see a dermatologist, and he recommended me this doctor, saying ‘If he can’t clear your acne, NOONE can’”. So here I was thinking, this man is the last stop. I would make pilgrimage to this man, for he is the master of curing acne apparently, and if he is unable to cure it, I could die knowing I did all that I could. When it was all said and done it took about half a year going through the hoops to get the point of being able to sit with this doctor and talk to him. Once again, I was nervous, but I gave him my account and prayed that he had some miracle cure for me, or the ultimate answer, the truth at last as to why I was still suffering from acne. But unfortunately, while he may have been more considerate towards me than the other doctor I saw, he ultimately arrived at recommending Accutane, and I couldn’t help but feel disappointed once again. But then he said something I didn’t expect. After he finished talking about the details of the treatment, he said “if you were my son I would prescribe this to you.” I feel like I wouldn’t have said yes to going on the treatment had he not said that. I felt there was incredible power in this statement for some reason. So I left the office with his prescription, and a week later I had I acquired the drugs from my local pharmacy. The drug itself was called Epuris, which I guess is a form of Accutane. Now those drugs sat in my room for a full year before I had the nerve to take them. Isn’t that crazy? After all that work to see this master doctor, and even with that thing he said which got me to say yes and pay for the drugs, I still couldn’t bring myself to go through with it. Then after that year had gone by, it was one random day I was so depressed and frustrated, with tears in my eyes I said fuck it and took the first pill. It was one of the scariest things I had ever done, since I firmly believed I was taking a huge risk. And yet…it was completely fine. My acne didn’t get worse. It was a 3-month treatment, and after it was over my acne didn’t come back. It disappeared after the first month to a month and a half actually, but I still made sure to take the pills for the full duration of what was prescribed. The biggest side effect the drug caused was it made my lips super dry and chapped, so I just had to make sure to use lots of Chapstick, which was a joke really in terms of the worst-case scenarios I was fearing. So that was it. I must say my experience with Accutane was shockingly easy and problem free. After all the methods and strategies I had tried over the years, including endless recommendations and posts on this subreddit for skin care routines and various products, things to eat, things not to eat, vitamins to take, ways to alter your life or daily habits, etc, it was fucking Accutane that did it. I’m forever grateful for the results, but I can’t help but wish it was something else, because I don’t necessarily want to run out and recommend Accutane to everyone, because what if it gives people a negative experience? Of course, now that the fog has lifted and I’ve been living life acne free, I have thoughts of “I shouldn’t have let acne control me like that”, but that’s a lot easier to say when you’re not suffering from it and no longer depressed. Snap your fingers and put all the acne back and I’d probably revert right back to how I used to be, despite that enlightenment. (Now when I say I’m acne free, I’m talking about my face. I still get spots on my back, but I can live with that since it can stay perfectly hidden with clothing). So there you have it. If you’re desperate, maybe give Accutane a shot, but at the same time, I totally understand why you would not want to take it, because I’ve been there. Never in a million years did I think I would ever go on Accutane, it just seemed absurd. The last thing I want is people taking it and it resulting in their own personal disaster of some kind. Before I went on Accutane, I swear I saw improvement from cutting out things like dairy from my diet, or changing my pillow case often, and other lifestyle things like that, but these weren’t enough to make it go away permanently. Acne took some of the best years of my youth away. For example, my years in High School and University are but a shadow for what they could have been had I been willing to soak them up more and not shut myself off from everything. I just want you to know, anyone reading this if you are lost or suffering, I feel you, my heart goes out to you.
Girls Blog 2015
Submitted by mrchipslewis
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