Beauty Tips For Body Care
Hey guys,This is a bit of a vent and a reach out to many others who might be struggling with their skin.I (28f) don't remember ever having a completely clear face. Since I hit puberty at 13, my skin started to break out and I was trying to cover it up since then with make up.I then got into college at 18 and I went through a couple of years where I became completely obsessed with the idea of clearing my skin. I saw a dermatologist, but I also went a little too OCD with everything (food, exercise, sleep) in hopes that I can one day have clear skin and be confident in my own skin (pun intended).My skin did get better around that time with the dermo prescription, but what got a lot worse was my mental health. I was obsessed with eating clean and I think I experienced depression. I wouldn't go out and socialise, or go out for drinks with my new friends because I was worried that alcohol might break me out, or that eating food out will break me out, or that I won't be able to do my night routine. I missed out on so much because of the effect that my skin had on me.I then got onto birth control, and my skin began to change. For the years I was on birth control and in a good relationship, my skin was pretty much clear. I eventually got off birth control a couple of years after, and in about half a year my skin started going a bit downhill again.I also slowly started experiencing acne on my cheeks and jaw, while my forehead acne and overall T-zone was clearing up on its own. I remember when I was younger, one of my mother's friends told me that acne tends to travel down with age. You start from the forehead, and it gets to the jaw. I think I'm at the stage where I am battling with cheek-jaw acne and it's honestly the worst kind of acne I've ever had in my life, at 28.It just scars so badly. I'll get 1 pimple that I can see is forming under the surface which will then turn red and inflamed af. If I leave it, I'll have it for a good month and it's persistence will scar me. If I pop it, it will scar again. There's no turn around. If I see this kind of pimple form, I feel like the ground is opening to eat me up alive. I know it sounds dramatic and tragic, but this is the amount of control my acne has on me.I'm currently at my 3rd week of Tret 0.05%. I've seen a big change on my comedones, I basically have none - but God forbid I apply too much sunscreen, or go out and use my facemask. I break out no matter what, and my bigger more inflamed pimples seem to always get worse when I'm on tret. They are SO inflamed and red, and leave the worst hyperpigmentation which takes a good YEAR to go away, if not more.The COVID face masks have been the worst thing for my lower cheek hormonal acne.And this is the thing that I hate most about my acne, it controls my decisions because I don't want to break out. Because of the use of face masks during COVID, I know it will break me out. So I choose to not go out and socialise, because I'm scared I will break out. Moreover, if I do break out badly, I don't want to even look people in the eye, so even more reason to stay indoors. A never ending cycle.I am so sick and tired of it. 2 of my dermatologists have told me to go on Accutane so that I prevent further scarring, and I'm seriously considering it for this winter. I want my life back, or to even start it that is. I never had an issue with anything else on myself. I love my body, my hair, my everything, but my skin... I'd slice it off if I could.My friends and family tell me that my acne is not even "that bad", but I grew up with my family constantly pointing it out. I think my self value is so linked to clear skin. Others might put it on weight, or anything else... mine is skin.And I think what makes it worse is that the average person doesn't know why we break out. They might look at you and assume that you treat your skin terribly, or never wash it, when this is all we do to try to get rid of this thing.I feel helpless and alone, I have the worst skin out of all my friends. I know there is worse things in life, I do. I know that I'm blessed in so many other ways, but I just can't seem to get out of my own head when it comes to my skin. If it's good, I'm happy. If it's bad, I don't want to leave my room. I might just go on Accutane in the winter and be over and done with.Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
Girls Blog 2015
Submitted by AgreeableMagician_
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