[acne] I feel so defeated. Acne has just completely ruined my self esteem. I feel like I'll never have clear skin.

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Honestly, I've fucking given up. I'm so fucking tired of this shit. I'm 23 years old, when I was 13, they told me "oh it's hormones" give it a few years. I turned 18, "oh it's hormones" give it a few years. I'm 23, I have given it many years yet to no avail. I've tried every thing. Everything. Every antibiotic. Every ointment/cream/topical. I've tried spironolactone. I've been on birth control. I was supposed to go on accutane last year but I backed out, because I was too scared. I wish I fucking didn't. My skin cleared for a while after taking antibiotics again, but then a few months later and I'm back to pizza face. I cry every night. I have cancelled dates. I hate looking at myself. I hate hearing people ask me "oh why do you wear so much makeup" BECAUSE I HAVE ACNE AND I FEEL GROSS. that's fucking why. One of my coworkers has flawless skin, and yet whenever she sees me, she loves to point out how she "hates wearing makeup" and she "can't imagine how caking all that foundation doesn't bother me". I'd like for her to see how it feels to wake up with painful cystic bumps all over her face and then let her judge me for covering it up.Acne has just taken my self esteem and fucking destroyed it. I am just so tired of this. I just don't have anyone to talk to who can relate to me or how I'm feeling so I feel really alone in this.
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Submitted by Failuresandtrials